Shopping

When it comes to shopping I am one of those guys who like to get it done as quickly as possible. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen that game show where the contestants speed through the isles of the store and throw as much as they can into the cart before the time they are allotted expires. If you have then you know my shopping style. I fly through isle to isle grabbing what I need and piling it into my cart. If you’re in my way watch out cause this guy wants to spend as little time in the grocery store as possible. There is no time to look to see if an item has this or that in it. If it tastes good or suits its purpose then it goes in the cart and directly to the check stand.

My wife however is the opposite! She meanders isle by isle looking at every variety and product on the shelf. If she hasn’t at least touched it or stared at it for 5 minutes then she isn’t shopping! Have you ever watched a moth fly towards a light bulb over and over again? That was my wife today looking at glass cleaner! It was like she was hypnotized by them. She stood there for at least 5 minutes as if she was thinking…ahhh look at all the pretty colors! Have you noticed how many different varieties they have now for glass cleaner? They have blue, pink, green, yellow, orange!

They put those colors in them for the very reason I stated above. It grabs the attention of the shopper. They are confused on which one they should get! Blue is good but isn’t purple better? Wait the yellow one smells like cotton candy! The green one leaves streaks but it has antibacterial disinfectant in it! My advice is if in doubt get the one you got last time! Anyway she takes forever and shopping is my least favorite of activities. I’ve noticed that I am not the only guy who feels this way.

I pass many who are in the same boat as I am. 3 kids grabbing everything they can while wife is on a quest to find the secret of life in the ingredients of a Chef Boyardee label. When we pass each other in the isle and eye contact is made. No words need be spoken, because we know and give silent hi fives to each other! We know we are not alone and that soon but not too soon we will be at the check stand and closer to the exit towards home.

When you get home and have finally put all the groceries away, you get comfortable in your sweat pants and comfy clothes. You are at peace with the world and are free. You finally sit down after a long day of shopping. Your weary bones are now just feeling the strain and stress of the grocery store fade into distant memory. A smile appears on your face as you prop your feet up and release a sigh of relief. Then from the other room you hear your wife say……..

We forgot the toilet paper honey! Could you go pick some up!!!