Wednesday, September 10, 2008

My 5 year plan......

I love Haagen-Dazs!!! I just ate a pint and could go for another. I figured if I ate a pint of Haagen-Dazs ice cream every day. I might be able to put on enough weight to retire from working. You might be wondering how that could be. You see I have a genius idea! I could gain enough weight to be the largest living man in Montana and possibly the world by having my fill of Haagen-Dazs daily. By doing so I could charge admission to tourists and school field trips that come to see the oddity of my size as I mow down another pint. I could do this from the comfort of my own living room!

So when you ask where I will be in 5 years, there you have it. I am starting today and as long as the mad Euro scientists don't blow us all up trying to reproduce the big bang. I should be there by next summer. Maybe I could get Haagen-Dazs to sponsor me in this endeavor. I bet I could get Oprah to come visit too! Ahhhh....chasing the American dream one beautiful bite at a time!

You think I'm crazy check out this story about mad scientists trying to recreate the big bang!!! Key words that say duh to such an experiment.......BIG BANG! Oh yeah don't forget about the possible mini black holes that could suck our world out of existance. I don't see anything but a huge explosion taking place and taking out some brilliant people with no common sense. Click here for story