What is forgiveness?
Forgiveness:
1.Act of forgiving; state of being forgiven.
2.Disposition or willingness to forgive.
Forgive:
1.to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
2.to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
3.to grant pardon to (a person).
4.to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies.
In order to understand how to forgive we must understand what brought it into existence. That one thing is what we call sin.
THE BEGINNING OF SIN
In Gen:3 we read about how sin entered the world because of Adam and Eve’s disobedience to God. Before sin entered the world there was no need for forgiveness because there was no sin. However since the day Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden there was need for reconciliation of Sin.
Of course God could have decided to start over from scratch once sin entered the world but he clearly decided to let it continue to exist. WHY? The answer may seem mysterious to you and I until we fully understand that God Loves us! Out of Love he let us live even if it was in a fallen state. He forgave Adam and Eve even though they sinned against him.
He held them accountable for what they did but none the less he forgave them. Just as he forgives us know and stays his judgment against us because of what his Son Jesus did on the cross for all of us. Out of Love he died for us. He paid our ransom granting us forgiveness so we could share in eternity with him.
John 3:16 so clearly states this….
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
I. Love A Foundation To Build On
In order to forgive we need to know how to start the process of Forgiveness. Just to say you forgive someone is not enough. The old saying goes actions speak louder then words. Forgiveness is not only a communication through words it is an act of reconciliation in a relationship. In order to reconcile a wrong done against us we must stand on solid biblical ground.
We must understand what God would have us do, and just how he’d have us do it. We need to look the the Bible our field manual to life. Like a users manual for a Car that lets us know exactly what specific part of the car does what the Bible tells us exactly what we are to do in specific areas of life. So to learn how to forgive we must first understand how to take the first step in that direction. What is the foundation of forgiveness?
Love is the foundation of forgiveness.
There are different degree’s of Love when it comes to us in our relationships. There is the Parental love towards ones children. There is the Love shared between Married couples. There is Love that is shared between friends or even our pets. There is Love for God and heavenly things, and there is God’s love for us. Love is broad but yet it is specific in its Characteristics.
We can find these Characteristics in I Corinthians 13. These Characteristics are what Love truly is and not exactly what the world tells us love is. Today I want you to look at Love as the basis for all your relationships. Love should be the foundation of every relationship we have. Yes even those bad relationships!
we are to Love even our enemies!
Because whether we like it or not we know people who don’t particularly care for us and that we don’t particularly care for in return. Those are still classified as relationships and Love should be the foundation we rebuild those relationships on.
Through Forgiveness we can tear down the decrepit walls that have been built on the quicksand of hard feelings and grudges, and we can build a solid structure of Love and respect that will create a new relationship far different from the ashes of the old.
The strained relationship is the relationship we are going to focus on today. These are the relationships that are hard for us to be forgiving in. So in order to truly forgive someone we must understand how to LOVE FIRST rather then cast judgment.
What is love?
In today’s culture many people have the impression that Love is just a feeling of butterflies and floating on air that we have that leads us to never want to leave the side of our companion of choice. This misconception has completely destroyed families and has mis-lead people away from what Love truly is!
What people don’t realize is that LOVE is an ACT of COMMITMENT. Love is an action not just a happy go lucky feeling. Our culture has it burned into our minds that Love is this euphoric state that never goes away once you find it. In this mindset we are set up for failure from the beginning. When the euphoric feelings fade away, when the going gets tough. People decide not to stick it out for the long run because this relationship isn’t as enjoyable as it used to be.
Don’t get me wrong being in Love and Loving others have a lot of good feelings that accompany it, there are also bad feelings as well. Especially when we are asked to forgive those who have hurt us the most. Love is not just the feelings we have but the actions we take to maintain healthy relationships pleasing to God.
True love is an act of sacrifice.
Let us look at how the bible describes love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails.
What do you see when you read that? The first thing that pops off the page at me is LOVE SUFFERS LONG.
WHAT OTHER WORDS POP OFF THE PAGE AT YOU?
DO THOSE WORDS DESCRIBE FEELINGS OR SOMETHING ELSE?
Paul is not writing about how love feels, he is writing about how it can be seen in action. True love is always demonstrated by action. YOU SEE LOVE IS AN ACTION NOT JUST A FEELING. IT IS AN ACT OF COMMITMENT TO THOSE WE LOVE.
Now you might be thinking to your self that you don’t really love those who have treated you badly and wronged you. And really you don’t want to. What you are thinking is based off of feelings. It is easier to Love those who treat you kindly and with respect.
Remember: LOVE IS AN ACTION! LOVE IS LONG SUFFERING!
My wife Stacey's Love has suffered long for a period of about 13 years! She has had to put up with my bad moods, my high pitched signing first thing in the morning. (and strange voices) My sleeping in the middle of the bed, and squeezing the toothpaste tube from the top rather then the bottom yet she still sticks with me. You see I'm not perfect even though I'd like to think I am. I have bad days and good days. I can sometimes say the wrong things and sometimes say the right things. I have hurt her feelings before.
Those butterflies we feel in our stomach when we first got together come and go. They aren't constant. In fact they fly away when we get in a fight and leave us with a bitter stomach. This is where true love prevails! Through our act of commitment out of love towards each other. We press forward and our love strengthens.
We are married and have made the commitment to each other that we’d follow the ingredients of Love in 1 Corinthians 13. For better or for worse.
However everyday relationships aren’t always that committed so it is hard to forgive those we are friends or acquaintances with. It is easy to hold a grudge or even end a relationship out of anger then it is to reconcile it some times.
What about someone who has hurt us deeply?
In trials you must always make sure you a setting out from a position of Love no matter how much a person has hurt you. Even if they are what you would call an enemy.
JESUS TELLS US TO LOVE OUR ENEMIES!
Matthew 5:44-48
44 But I say to you, LOVE your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you LOVE those who LOVE you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? 48 Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.
We are called to LOVE our enemies
In my own experience I have found that grace is a hard thing to give those who seemingly take advantage of it when you practice grace towards them. There is a great lesson to be learned in that when it comes to Gods Grace towards us personally. We should never take that lesson for granted.
Think of all the times you’ve fallen short when it comes to sin. How often has God forgiven you when you have done him wrong? Shouldn’t we extend the same forgiveness to those who have sinned against us?
AREN’T WE SUPPOSED TO BE IMITATORS OF CHRIST?
Ephesians 5:1-2 Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma .
How do you feel when someone continually wrongs you after you have forgiven them time and time again? We get angry or frustrated right? According to the gospel of Matthew we are to Love our enemies and bless those who curse you. We need to look to God as the example on how we are to actively forgive. Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do especially when you have been deeply hurt by those who have wronged you. However we are called to do so without hesitation. Isn’t that what God does?
HOW THEN DO WE LOVE OUR ENEMIES?
II. The Ingredients Of Love
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails.
We must suffer Long We must look at how God has dealt with us as the example of this.
2 Peter 3:9 –The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is long suffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance
God does not take his promise lightly. The root of Gods forgiveness is love! If God’s love is in us, we will be long suffering to those who annoy us or hurt us.
In 1 Corinthians 13 we find a list of ingredients that make up this love we can build forgiveness on.
1. Love Is Long Suffering!
We have to put up and remain calm in situations where someone is persistently pushing our buttons or wronging us. This is one of the hardest things to do especially when you are not being treated justly. We can see there are quite a few ingredients of Love that we must have to sustain active forgiveness in situations where you have endured many wrongs from certain people.
2.Is Kind
We must be kind even if we are being treated poorly.
Take time to cool down before you speak or Act.
3.Does Not Envy
In certain instances we may Envy what another has. Envy is the root of jealousy and causes conflict. If we Envy someone then we often harbor ill feelings for them. Envy murdered Abel (Genesis 4:3-8) In order to forgive we must not envy.
4&5.Does not parade itself and it is not puffed up (PRIDE)
If you are gloating and trying to be viewed better then the person you are having conflict with you are not acting in Love towards them. We must sacrifice our pride and respectfully humble ourselves, we must swallow our pride.
6.Does Not Behave Rudely
Even if you are being treated rudely by another, treat them with respect even if they don’t deserve it. When we act rudely in return we are not acting out of love but out of anger.
7.Does Not Seek Its Own
Philippians 3-4
3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
If we take this to heart and apply it to our lives then forgiving others will become easier to do. We will see conflict with others diminish because we are paying them respect. Often our own selfishness causes others to lash out against us.
8.Is Not provoked
It is easy to get provoked by someone who likes to push our buttons. We must remember to not let anger lead us into sin but to let love lead us into Grace.
Someone once put it this way…..
“When the man who possesses this love gives way to provocation, he loses the balance of his soul, and grieves the Spirit of God. . . surely if he get embittered against his neighbour, he does not love him as himself.”
(When we don’t let love lead us, we set our selves up for a fall)
9.Thinks No Evil
Don’t think of ways to get even or to gain revenge. By doing so we are giving thought into acting on our anger. This is premeditation of sin or sin in the fact that we are judging someone out of malice.
10&11.Does Not Rejoice In Iniquity But Rejoices In Truth
Love . . . does not rejoice in iniquity: It is willing to want the best for others, and refuses to color things against others. Instead, love rejoices in the truth. Love can always stand with and on truth, because love is pure and good like truth.
12.Bears All Things
This is a big one! Love Bears all things it covers all things! In the act of forgiveness if we are truly walking in love it will cover the worst possible transgression against us. We being human must seek divine providence when it comes to some matters. We will be able to carry the burden of being sinned against. IF SOMEONE WERE TO HURT MY FAMILY I’d have to seek God in order to forgive that person.
13.Believes All Things
In love we must believe that by showing Grace towards those who sin against us that because of the Grace and respect we’ve shown them will cause them to have a change of heart when it comes to us and God. In some cases it may seem we believe in the impossible!
14.Hopes All Things
As we forgive we hope that whatever the problem was will cease no longer. We hope for reconciliation with those we argue with. In hope we are looking to the future in a positive manner rather then a negative one. This helps us to Forgive and Forget.
15.Endures All Things
Meaning if we are walking in LOVE we are able to have superhuman strength when it comes to the slings and arrows of everyday life. We are able to withstand trials and come out strong. (Arrows Just bounce of us as if we were made of steel!)
15.Love Never Fails
Underline NEVER FAILS No matter what….If we are walking in LOVE we will never fail to Forgive those who have wronged us. No matter what has occurred. Because In LOVE all is Forgiven Jesus Christ is the example of that!
No matter what we have done or what others have done to us. Christ Forgave it all!!!
III.Prayer
Prayer is the mortor that holds the foundational bricks together in our Christian walk. We must always be prayerful in all situations.
PRAY FOR THOSE WHO WRONG US
I HAVE FOUND THAT PRAYER TOWARDS THOSE WHO HAVE WRONGED ME IS SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN SO HELPFUL FOR ME IN FORGIVING THEM. I ENCOURAGE YOU TO START PRAYING ON A REGULAR BASIS IF YOU DON'T ALREADY. ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE WRONGED YOU.
WHAT SHOULD WE PRAY FOR?
1.ASK GOD TO SOFTEN YOUR HEART
2.ASK GOD TO SHOW YOU WHERE YOU FALL SHORT WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM.
3.ASK GOD TO HELP YOU FORGIVE THEM
4.ASK GOD TO GIVE YOU THE ENDURANCE TO CONTINUALLY SHOW THEM RESPECT. EVEN IF THEY DON’T SHOW YOU RESPECT BACK.
5.ASK GOD TO HELP YOU TO LOVE THEM
We must remember God even loves those who don’t Love him!
Matthew 5:45-46 for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you LOVE those who LOVE you, what reward have you?
Even if non-believers are not accepting of his saving grace they are still blessed and provided for by him. If you think about it every breath is a gift from God. Even though they mock him and continually deny him. He still provides for them so they might know his LOVE.
God still is LOVING to those who hate him even if they don’t deserve it. Jesus died not only for you and I but for them as well. We don’t deserve the Grace he has given us. Yet he extended it to us out of LOVE.
So we must do the same to those we need to forgive because the same has been done for us. The price of their Sin against us has been paid in full whether they have accepted it or not. We should not stand against them in Judgment but stand with them in LOVE.
Jesus Mocked On The Cross Prayed to His Father As He Died.
“Father Forgive them for they do not know what they do!”
As He hung there dieing, He prayed for those who sent him to his death. He Loved those who beat him, who scourged him. Who spat in his face and insulted him. He prayed for those who mocked him as he drew his last breath. He prayed for those he Loved even though they hated him even though they crucified him. He took all their sin on to himself and paid the price in full.
As Jesus loved his enemies so should we love ours until our dying breath.
Matthew 6:14-15 - 14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Read Matthew 6:14-15 and realize we are asked to do the same as Jesus. We must pray for those who mock us. Who down right hate us for who we are or what we stand for. We must love them as Christ loves them. If we can't extend the same love towards our enemies as Christ extends to us. Then we are not standing in love or grace, nor are we doing what God would have us do.
I urge you all to take inventory of your lives. Look deep into the relationships that you need to be forgiving in. Seek God for guidance and provision, so that you can take steps towards forgiving those who have wronged you. Stand in Love and let your grace towards them be a light that shines forth the glory of God so that the world may know his Love.
